Scorpions

"Comeblack"

Label: Legacy

In the near future, there will be a computer program that will allow listeners to hear their favorite songs covered by any artist. Simply type a song's title and then an artist's name and magic will occur. Imagine Motorhead's "Ace of Spades" as interpreted by Barry Manilow or Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" tackled by Metallica. Listeners will be amused by the results, but after a few listens, the gimmick will grow tired and the files will be deleted. If only The Scorpions' Comeblack could be deleted. The unintentionally comical and half-baked covers that make up the second part of this farce are so ridiculous and predictably awful that Comeblack should take up residence, not in a record store's rock section, but in its novelty cutout bin. The group's renditions of The Stones' "Ruby Tuesday," The Beatles' "Across the Universe" and The Kinks' "All Day and All Night" do nothing for the once-pioneering German metal band's legacy. And I doubt the band realizes the irony of sequentially covering "Tainted Love" and Marc Bolan and T-Rex's "Children of the Revolution." "Tainted Love" was a hit for Gloria Jones, who was behind the wheel during the car crash that resulted in Bolan's death.

The first half of this disc, sadly, is just as bad. Having already exhausted their back catalogue with numerous re-releases, anthologies and greatest hits collections, The Scorpions have gone for the ultimate cash in by re-recording six of their better known songs. Featuring the band's latest line-up, which includes bassist Pavel Maciwoda and drummer James Kottak, renditions of "No One Like You," "Rock You Like a Hurricane," and "Winds of Change" sound like karaoke knockoffs that lack the charm, edge and talent of the originals.

The Scorpions, who recently announced they're retiring at the end of their 2012 touring cycle, must be spent of creative energy to have ended their recording career on such a sour note. Like great athletes, classic rockers should go out on top, not crash and burn like jalopies too old and feeble for a junk yard. It's sad that this once great band's recording epitaph is such a disaster.